I thank the Lord for bringing me here in the Full-Time Training in Malabon (FTTM). Honestly speaking, before I joined the training I did not enjoy the Lord fully. I even thought that it is foolish to spend my time for the Lord. Everyone told me that I am so blessed because I am a church kid. However, I did not agree with them because even though I am a church kid, I wanted to keep my time for myself, not for the Lord.
Many times, I ran away from the Lord and found myself into the world. Nevertheless, the more I did it, God drew me into His breast and preserved me from the world. During the past few years, I did not taste any heavenly food and my spirit was so empty. Hallelujah! Now, I am embraced by His love. God pulled me out from being worthless, useless, and sinful into the FTTM by His mercy, grace, and love to me.
Hence I can now pray, “Yes, Lord Jesus. I realize that You want to gain me and transform me. Continue to have mercy on me. I also want to gain and contain You more. Everyday, I want to be painted by Your anointing Spirit. Lead and guide me.”
Through this training, I experienced being broken during the propagation, in the sessions, door-knocking, and even in my living at the quarter with the other brothers. I realized that I lack so much of Christ. I knew that I need to be broken more. I felt that I have to be humble, deny myself, respect and love others. In my situation, some of the brothers are becoming thorns to me. But I can overcome every situation. I love them by Christ who lives in me. Christ is what I really treasure in this training. I always bring this prayer to the Lord, “O Lord Jesus! Capture me more by Your love in this training. I want to be with You all the time. I want to receive You fully. I am willing to consecrate myself to You, Lord, even though it entails losing all that I have. If I gain You, I am comforted. I love You, Lord.”
Samuel Kim (FT2)
Church in Sung Nam, Korea
The Splendor of Consecration
My mother was the first one to be brought into the church life. After she was saved, my two younger brothers and I were ushered into the church life. I was six years old then. Because of my mother, I started to have a normal church life. I was saved in 1994. I never gave up any church meeting from elementary school until collegiate studies. However, when I was in my third year, I was in a low spiritual condition. Every time I attend the meetings, I just cry. I made my life occupied with my studies and a lot of activities. During that time, I couldn’t fellowship with any one even with the serving ones in my locality. Being afraid, I chose not to open myself. This situation went on for about a year.
When I became a fourth year student, I was the one who took the responsibility to take care of the sisters’ house. One time, I needed to fellowship about the condition of the sisters. I was forced to talk with this serving one. During the four-hour fellowship, I didn’t know why, I started to open myself. He also opened himself to me telling me about his services. From that time on, I received much perfecting. My spiritual condition reached its high peak. During those five years of stay at the sisters’ house, the most important thing that I learned was fellowship. Our serving one taught me the principle, the definition of fellowship, and how to have the proper fellowship with one another. Sometimes, when I face some situations that really bothered me, through fellowship, I was brought back to the line of the tree of life. It was really a benefit to me.
I began to have a burden to serve the college students in the campus work. I learned how to cherish and nourish them, and enjoy the Lord with them. I also learned how to dispense Christ to them in their daily life, bringing them into the reality of the word in the morning revival, and letting them know how to experience Christ through His living words.
During the 14 years of my church life I became aggressive to cooperate with the saints to serve in the church life. When I was a high school student, I served in the children’s meeting. During college, I served in the young people’s meeting. After I graduated from college, I got a job as a teacher where I served in the campus work.
However, when someone asked me if I was willing to join the training after I graduate from college, I would always say, “I don’t know.” It was true, I really didn’t know. It was because in my concept, I never thought that I would join the training. I just wanted to spend about half a year to improve my English after I can get my teacher’s license. But I could not say that the Lord did not call me. Actually, every time I joined the consecration meeting, that is, when I heard the brothers and sisters’ testimony, I always cried and also consecrated myself to the Lord. But after crying, I would still say to the Lord, “Lord, don’t call me anymore, I don’t want to.” But the Lord is the Lord. He has His own way of remembering our consecration.
In August of 2007, I joined a church visitation in the Philippines. At that time, I saw some Chinese saints who joined the Full-Time Training in Malabon (FTTM). When I learned that the training was conducted in English, I told myself, “Maybe, this is a good place to learn English.” After one week of visitation, I went back to Taiwan and prepared all the things I needed for just one week. So I joined the training here from August 2007 until March 2008. When I entered the training, I realized that I was wrong. This is not just a good place to learn English, but is also a good place to enjoy the Lord to the uttermost.
Here in the training, I experienced what it means for “Christ to be the reality of all the positive things.” I experienced the Lord not just during the sessions, but even while folding the blanket, cleaning my surroundings, and going down the stairs. I experienced Christ not just in a doctrinal way, but in a living way.
Concerning this training center, I really feel “weird” about this place. When I heard some of the Nazarite trainees who are willing to serve as local full-timers for one year after finishing four months of training, I felt they really have a strong and absolute determination toward the Lord. Whether in the Nazarite Training or Full-time Training, almost all are willing to consecrate themselves to the Lord. In this area, I cannot match up with them. But time goes by, this amazing place made my heart soft to the Lord little by little. Before I joined the training, it was really hard for me to respond to the Lord’s calling. I almost stumbled and gave up my church life before. But until now, the Lord never gives up His calling on me. In the training, the more I allow the Lord to operate within me, the more I become willing to give my whole being to Him. Thus, I just say “Amen” to the Lord’s calling.
Finally, I want to use the hymn, “The Uniqueness of the Lord’s Recovery” and the verse in Psalms as my concluding word. “Lord, we present ourselves to Thee / Our whole life to be trained by Thee / In the mold experience we / Precious, glorious vessels to be / Uniqueness of the Recov’ry / For which live and work may all we / Build the Body, prepare the Bride / Thou heart’s desire to be satisfied.” In Psalm 110:3, the psalmist said, “Your people will offer themselves willingly in the day of Your warfare in the splendor of their consecration. Your young men will be to You like the dew from the womb of the dawn.” May the Lord continue to gain me, preserve my heart to be a useful vessel to turn this age.
Joyce Luo (FT2)
Church in Jhoungli, Taiwan